what is it and how do you recognize it?

The end of a relationship is never easy. A break up brings pain and sorrow nine times out of ten, that makes sense and is part of the process. Still, some breakups are more painful than others. For example, has your relationship ever ended because your partner started ‘slow fading’? This is very annoying of course and you want to avoid it in the future. That is why we explain to you what slow fading exactly means and how you can recognize the first signs of it.

Slow fading is perhaps even more annoying and painful than ghosting…

Slow fading: what is it?

The ‘slow fade’ is the behavior that someone in a relationship exhibits when he or she has made the decision to end the relationship, but does not communicate this directly to his or her partner. Instead of clearly telling the other person that he or she is no longer happy in the relationship and that it is over, they continue to pretend the relationship is intact while sending mixed signals and slowly distance themselves. In this way, the slow fader hopes that the person they are in a relationship with will get the hint.

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People who use slow fading to end a relationship often think they are doing the right thing by slowly distancing themselves from their partner rather than very abruptly. This makes them feel better about themselves because – in their eyes – they are trying to be nice. In addition, the slow faders in this way also do not have to deal with the emotional discomfort of a difficult conversation and they have to deal less with the hurt emotions of the other person.

Slow fading more painful than ghosting

However, what actually happens is that the slow fader gaslights the other person. This makes that person question himself and his own version of reality. This naturally creates a very unpleasant feeling and brings a lot of sadness with it. That’s why slow fading might be even more painful for the other person to end a relationship than ghosting, for example.

Ghosting — suddenly ignoring the person you’re dating or in a relationship with — is incredibly mean and painful, of course, but clear because it leaves no room for uncertainty as to whether the relationship is over or not. The slow fade, on the other hand, creates a lengthy end-stage in the relationship that leads to the soon-to-be ex being filled with confusion and self-doubt.

How do you recognize slow fading in your relationship?

We can all agree that slow fading is super annoying and we want to prevent this from happening to us in future relationships. Here are some signs that your partner has started to slow fade. If you recognize this behavior in time, you can address this with your date or partner and enter into a clear conversation with that person.

1. It takes longer and longer before he or she responds to your texts. In addition, his or her answers become shorter and less enthusiastic.

2. You are the one taking the lead in your conversations. If you don’t, it will soon stop.

3. They stop making concrete plans. They say they want to do something, but there is no date and time.

4. You are no longer his or her priority. When you propose to do something, they often already have plans with friends or are busy with work.

Ladies, try to spot these signs early and save yourself the pain of slow fading. You deserve better, remember that!

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‘Slow fading’ is common in relationships: here’s why it’s even more annoying than ghosting

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